Im feeling kinda lost..

Woke up at 11am.... feeling tension in the hse.. not very unusual recently.. dad n mum's faces are so "black".. dunno wat happened again.. mum is experiencing wat u call menopause recently.. getting pissed by the slightest things.. hurr.. dad still haven found a job. i noe he tried his best, at his age (52 already).. is so hard to get a job these days.. found myself useless these days.. arghhh.. i hate them nagging at me... im trying to get a job soon so i can contribute to the hsehold income. so tat i feel that im doing my part for the family, so tat i feel that im more"useful"... i dun like being the "maid" at home..although i dun seem to do alot of hsehold chores either. i mean i do them but compared to wat my mum n dad did, wat i do for them is minimum... like washing the clothes n hanging them.. like washing the dishes. all the simple task., i seriously dun mind doing chores lah, but i juz dun like them to like command me to do them like im some maid or sumting.. Irritated that jiejie doesnt haf to do them becos she give $$ every mth.. lucky she dotes on me alot or else i sure get pissed off - like y she doesnt haf to do a single thing n juz slack n work. n i haf to do every single thing! my goodness. hai.. i wanna be more useful u noe. not the slacker.. not the wanderer.. not the penniless.. n un-accomplished...