love can be hurtful

Little ms aunt agongy:" Love is hurtful when one love too much n wat he/she gets in return isnt as much as wat is being given out. Tat's y to me.. i always stubbornly insist tat i muz haf a life of my own.. a social circle of my own.. gg out wif my own frens.. etc..i juz dun wan to see myself in such a state where i couldnt find any meaning in life anymore when a loved one leave me. Maybe it sounded silly.. maybe it is a way to protect one self. is like having a reserved bank so u wun lose everything... isnt it scary when u found urself so deep into something u cant get out. or u cant live without? i duno. maybe becos i din allow to haf tt kind of feeling or maybe not to that extreme extent. Isnt it a blessing if both side have mutual n balanced amt of love. But of cos tat is impossible.. even adam n eve cant do tt,can they?

Sometimes i want to help. But maybe in a wrong way. Maybe i juz duno how to express myself. Maybe, im not a very gd fren indeed. aren't frens the most impt thing when ur heart aches? Not necessarily, i guess. I got a few heartbroken frens but i duno how to help them. I juz wanna say to all, i will try to be gd listener if u decide to look for me one day.

I noe im lucky.. i shld cherish it. i wont be so lucky forever.. boo boo cant be tolerant forever. I shld tink for him more. learn to love him more n not being so self centered. i shld grow up. Juz no one dares to ask me to. ya.. IM a childish fellow.

My heart aches.. i duno for whom.. or for wat. Maybe for all the heartbroken? im juz being emotional. childish act again.

Im missing out on all the fun!...

Arghhh.. yst i missed out on all the fun!!! dun i hate being sick at these kind of occasion?! anyway, i hope Cindy had fun at her 21st birthday chalet! i bet she is drunk lah by the end of the nite. hahahhahz. sorry gal i couldnt make it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to CINDY and KEVIN! Kor, i wun buy present for u tis yr lah hahahhaz dun worry! i treat u to eat or sumthing ya? or KTV session? haven go singing wif u for quite some time le. but muz wait til i get my voice back in gd condition first ya! hahahhaz.

Im so bored... Reading jess n cindy's blogs... they tok abt missing old sch times... Well, i guess schooling is always better than working.. frens are much more easier to handle than politics or superiors rite? Learning how to be tactful or learning to noe when to do wat at the appropriate time.. is so troublesome yet so impt. Everyday fearing i would do the wrong thing...is stressful to the mind. Wif frens at least u could be U. i could be ME.. hmm..my life is a bore now. Kinda meaningless. Work home slp. Occasionally meeting of frens tat's all. i need some sparks in my life! i need an attitude!!! GIve me back my LIFE!

Ms Aunt Agony:" Im back to sq one.. i still dunno wat i want in life. day in day out doing the same thing. Days juz past me by... slowly, im losing myself, losing my life. I hope there is something i could take n my mind will grow! hahahz. I always say i wanted a simple life. but in actual fact i dun. See~ tat is how simple my life is now. Simple = boring... Not tt i wan a complicated life, i juz hope there is some colours in my little pathetic life drama. Im toking rubbish again in my blog. hai. im damn bored... "

* thks YD n YW for dinner! (as usual)

IM SICK!!!

Im sick.. i got like things to say but im too tired to type them out.. duh.. IM sick.. gotta see doc tml morn n take MC.. no voice, terrible sore throat n a running nose. mY gdness wat happened to me??? gg cindy chalet tml! Not gg to MoMo to club liao.. Sorry boo boo.. u gotta go alone wif raymond they all. I really cant make it.. i cant drink n dance in tis state rite? tink i sick for quite long le.. 2 wks? n its getting worse. at 1st was juz sore throat.. duh.

Anyway, blog tml when i got time ba. ** thks yd for dinner yst! again.. i noe.. hahahz i fail to pay every single time. heez. *cheeky smilez* n hope chong chong forever be xin fu de nan ren! heez..

sick...sick...sick... i hate to be sick... messed up my plans for the wkend..no MoMo.. duh

I saw Proj superstar contestant Derrick!! (awww so cute!) n Leon

Today is a cold and rainy day.. n boring too.. duh.. was supposed to meet up wif kev to buy cindy's present but he laz min meeting his own frens so i gotta go shop alone. Aft walking ard i still couldnt find anything tt she would like. n wat she would like, tat shop doesnt sell!!! Honey.. IORA doesnt sell vouchers so dun put it on ur wishlist!!! hahahaz okay im not blaming u lah hor.. Cos becos of lonely shopping.. god send me a cutie! hahahhaz. i saw the proj superstar contestants Derrick n Leon at wisma. Well, u'll shld noe i tink Derrick is so cute!!! so boyish.. seriously he looks like wat is shown on tv lor. Boyish, not very tall. Cute. quite thin too. But the eyes.. awwww.. u could melt juz looking into his eyes! hahahz ok i noe im drooling already.. hahahz y cannot izzit.. admire cute guy ma. heez! how i hope next time they go PS.. den i could see him again!

OKok enuf of swooning n drooling.. n melting.heeez...

Ms Aunt Agony: " Anyone noes wat's the most crucial thing tat keeps a relationship gg is ....Communication! yes.. relationship isnt juz abt LOVE! puhleaseeee.. love isnt everything.. u need to communicate! to noe more abt each other. Tat's the only way u gg to find out. It doesnt matter if the 2 of u doesnt view things the same way. At least u get to understand how each of u feel towards certain topics/issues. So next time if u encounter such situations, u would be able to handle it better somehow becos 2 of u talked abt it before. So get talking! n i dun mean lovey dovey stuffs.. duno how to explain but juz issues.. things ard us. Things tat arent meaningless.

Aft talking u would realise u could view each other not juz as a lover/bf/gf but someone who can understand and have gd n deep conversation wif u. Isnt it a great feeling? hmm i duno how to put it into words but wat i could say is its really a special feeling to be able to have deep talk wif ur another half n understand or connect wif them. U learn to understand each other better n see each other differently. U might even learn to compromise. 2 diff ppl are not gg to tink alike on everything my gdness. So bear wif it!

this doesnt only appeal to couples. gd frens need to be able to talk freely too!
P/s: thks kev! who inspire me to write abt all these in this post.. cos we juz talked abt it erm.. laz nite! hahahhaz *hugz*"

work..life... ..

Went for training in the morning.. den my manager wants to see all of us. i blur blur read her sms wrongly tot she only want to see me.. act is all 3 of us.. duh... anyway, i feel bad tt my other 2 colleague kinda get "scolded" (er...cos my boss only nag she dun really scold..) becos they were tgt.. like always doing things tgt.. ya... but den 3 of us were tgt. juz tt i read the msg wrongly n i went up alone. duh.. hai.. Then my boss started hmmm. nagging i would say hahahahhz say abt quite alot of things lah.. sianz n now im having a punch card.. ok lah not much diff for me maybe not restricted on my movements but i dun really move ard besides gg for toilet breaks or lunch. I even eat lunch in the pantry lor.

Next is tis guy in the shop.. he very..er gayish. but actually he quite nice person lah.. juz tt he very whiny!!! hai.. den i cant stand it when start whining to me infront of cust.. cos is juz not right.. N i heard him call me"darling"... er but he say he call me"gal" leh.. but bth ways r not right when toking to me infront of cust.. hai.. but i scare i too harsh on him leh.. maybe i too soft hearted ba.. but the rest of the temps says is right to tell him off. cos it doesnt look right when cust sees it.. cos is like i look like im of a higher position .. so not right lor duno how to explain lah. im not boasting.. juz thinking in a way if im the cust. ya. hai. but i scare i today too direct le. but i keep telling him i dun mean to tell him off juz wan to let him noe.. so they say i soft hearted. hmmm. maybe ba. dun wan to be so harsh to ppl over such small things. no pt wat. hai. work.. so sian over it sometimes.

Tml meeting my twinnie n dear kev! haven speak their kind of ang mo very long le. work place abit chi na lah. ahhahz not tt im not but is diff speaking to kev n lionel. not so chi na-ish. hahahahz. miss them! plus siew! yeah!! den meeting my boo boo on sun!

Sick.. running nose and cough.. hai..

Guess the virus caught me.. now my sore throat was getting alrite.. but im coughing and having running nose.. hai,. i hate to be sick.. I'll even whine more often. damn.. Bored so bored recently. dun ask me y... juz sianz.. sometimes not emo lah. juz sian n tired.. abit no life leh.. work home.. tv... hai..

I miss gg out wif ppl.. wearing casual clothes. hahahz rem all every sat the staff at the shop will ask me where i gg cos i'll be wearing loud n bright tube tops or halters.. tot i go clubbing., NOPE... i juz wan to wear wat i always wear when im like schooling! Now im wearing dull colours everyday. i miss being LOUD...n BRIGHT.. n CRAZY.. duh duh duh./

I wanna go overseas!!! Cindy gg HK wif her company and twinnie gg batam.. bth oso gg off tml.. im stuck here in spore. Bring me alonG!!!!! sob sob.. still dunno wat to get for cindy hai.. tink her chalet i'll go aft i go momo? or before?? *pondering over it in my head*

I Officially dismiss my position as gyspy of the pantry.. hahahz cos i really dunno abt the secrets or watever thing of everyone ma. How could i call myself the gyspy??? I'll prefer little ms aunt agony ba.. i love listening to cases of love.. *smilez*

Little Ms Aunt Agony feels like watching au xiang ju and cry her heart out... dun ask me y i oso dunno., maybe long time nv watch au xiang ju le.. hmmm.. haven being crazy for some time.. hmmm.. But i quite crazy at the shop leh. dunno how to explain lah.. contradicting.., neh. pout.

Emo. once again. feeling unappreciated.

Yes i had a outburst today. emo. yes. emo. feeling unappreciated by alot of ppl.. things tt i normally do for them seems like im such a wiling party doing all those stuffs.. feel tt no one appreciate wat i had done. yes. emo. means not gd. means im upset, means im being mean to some ppl. scream at some too. means black face. den a patched up wif them. case closed. maybe today isnt a gd day so a small tiny thing trigger my emotions n outburst n the rest of the story went haywired.. I HATE FEELING EMOTIONAL.. but sometimes i do tt a tad too often..

Sorry ppl.. who hear me bitch all day long.. who read my blog n maybe worries abt me? all those who juz tink i juz cant help but emo all the time.. im sorry im getting all emotional at times. Duno wat happening to me. IM okay already anyway, explained to a few ppl.. things r back to normal. Is juz a sudden outburst hopefully not gg to happen again.

too many explanations to do. tiring. pout. im juz being too pampered, too whiny again. yes im bitching. gotta stop tis habit soon. hai.. smack me.

"thanks yt n ym for the dinner n their companionship today!"

arghhh sick., sianz. late..

Woke up 9am in the morn.. heard my mum calling me asking y i still nv go to work. I was like OH MY GOD!!! nearly wanted to cry.. in a shock. slept so well laz nite of the medication.. hai. Din make up.. juz quickly bath n took a cab. So fast so i was like early to work, buy myself a teh-c to eat wif my bread fr home for breakfast. damn cab fare is expensive lor. Nv wanted to be late again..puhlease..

Whole day help them call DHL.. using my dream phone.. Samsung E530 hahahz it's probably the only perk in calling dhl. so cute the phone heez. other than tt did nuttin much. hurr. call cust lor becos sales lead ma. Damn. i sux at ADSL sales.. still dun understand abt IPs n webhosting etc. god save me. cust is gg to start having disputes liao lor. damn. how how.. im so a not technical or IT savvy person.. diaoz. i hope the cust juz dun wan tt svc lah. duh so ma fan. i very mean leh. ahhahz but i got no comm leh. hahahhaz. evil laughters. hai. mean of me..

Hai.. sore throat still nt ok yet. damn. feeling so sleepy.. tml problem shall solve it tml. let tml worries for itself. oops past 12 le. sianz. dun care. tml morn den say how lor. i dun wan to work! i sux at my job act. damn. im useless.

Im Sick... terrible headache n a sore throat.. sob

Im feeling terrible.. im having a terrible headache n a sore thoart..arghh.. It started yst.. went shopping wif val aft work before meeting the rest of the gang to celebrate kaiyin's bday.. was walking ard orchard n i sudd got a terrible headache i tink maybe becos i stayed indoors too often becos of work n now i cant stand the sun!!! my goodness. Enjoyed myself at the pasir ris beach where we had our dinner n celebrated yin's bday. But den my headache n sore throat still din go away.. went off to meet my boo boo to watch midnite show- Charlie n the choc factory! heez so nice.. willy wonka so cute! in his own way.

Today, went to see the doc.. went east coast coasta sand for a mini bbq wif my family to celebrate my mum's bday in advance.. heez. nice little family get tgt. heez dun i juz love them to bits. heez. hugz. love being the baby..

Gypsy of the pantry aka ms Aunt Agony:" Is there a thing call platonic between a guy n a gal? well, i had discussed tis topic wif like so many ppl. N my conclusion is still the same. YES... it can be done.. of cos there might be a certain kind of attraction b/w bth parties or one of them but still it's normally an infaturation or crush tat will pass. Platonic friendship does EXISTS!!! i truly believe in it. Look at me n kev,rick n lionel. BUt of cos there are exceptional cases lah.. ever heard of ' ri jiu sheng qing' meh.. long liao will fall in luv. well for some it might not be a bad thing. Unless like i say it all depends on the situation.. depending on case by case basis. Like u hurt anyone who is involved lah. den tat's bad.

Little ms Aunt agony has a few cases on hand.. n i dun feel gd abt it. hmmm.. LOVE.. has its complications.. All in all.. juz rem one ting. consider the heart of the others involved too. Well, is bez not to hurt anyone becos of ur decision although it could be inevitable. Heartbreak will pass.. no matter how painful it is... wounds will heal wif time n in time to come u will find another better person. Dun we juz hate heartbreakers.. so my dear frens.. dun be one.. "

" Im juz being emotional again.. looking ard me.. some couples get tgt.. some broke up.. some got underlying secret.. some juz dunno wat they wan..some still searching for their soulmates.. Love is supposed to make life interesting.. maybe at times too thrilling or too interesting for comfort. hahahhaz.. it could be a silly joke played on ur life. but u learn fr them no matter wat. watever lesson it gives u is a life experience n teaches u how to love more n better the next time. I hope everyone learn to love the right way. me included. *smilez* "

Derrick is out... so sad..

Juz finished watching Project Superstar's result. Derrick the boy boy din get in.. awww... so sad.. n i mean it. I noe his singing skills are a notch lower than the rest.. but still his boyish charm still works for me. hahhaz. dun i juz like boyish cute guys. hahahz. He look so sincere.. so honest looking.. so boyish.. those kind tt u noe will be very faithful n nice bf kind. hahaz im tinking too much i noe. but he is so CUTE!!! .. yes yes. call it infaturation watever.. hahahz. i juz like the boyish charm. my heart juz goes all out .... sob sob.. *tears are abt to fall..* but dun worry im not abt to cry over a competition over a guy i duno. but my heart did feel a little sadness.. hai..

Tink i very whiny.. too whiny hahahhaz.ok lah not tt im trying to act.. cos i dun.. hmm. becos im so used to be whiny? cos im born wif a voice tt whiny? hmmm. duno leh. seems like ppl ard me all get used to it le, so they dun actually complained abt it anyway... hhahz. hmm. hmmmm .. tiny tot i have today..

Treated CPE edwin n chris ice cream cos they both helped me find model no again tis wk.heeez is redemption time! wahahz. oso treat ben n thomas. heez im so nice hahahz..

Yawns.. so sian tml gg to some award thingy by my dept.. den training. wun be in the shop the whole day i reckon.. sianz sianz sianz. act i like staying in the shop. is more homey.. main office sounded so cold to me.. no affections no feeling.. scary.. nuttin much i like abt it.. the ppl all i duno.. all seems er.. dangerous? at least i noe im kinda "safe" in the shop.. most are nice ppl. heez. nice nice ppl... cool....

I want to cut crazy HaiR.. laz time i cut was when i noe yiwen n yingda tt time lor.. mths ago.. hmm.. is time to cut hair again!!! it always make me feel better whenever i cut hair.. its a way of cheering myself up. heez.

hmmm.. ms aunt agony n her philosophies again.

Bz Bz Bz for the shop.. not exactly for me.. Helping them lor.. got tis idiotic customer ask me so many technical qns im stumped! my god.. hai.. act i shldnt work in a telco u noe.. cos im so technology UN sAvY kind of person. gosh. save me! N i tink im gg to get ban fr CPE already.. got caught inside CPE by roy's gf. i today den noe is his gf lor.. duh... stupid me.. shld haf open my eyes big big ma.. Hopefully roy dun restrict me or ban me in CPE when he is not ard. hai.. i like smuggling in to haf some fun wif the big bros! they all treat me like a mei mei! wahhahz. Outside is like a battlefield. ppl knocking one another.. customers speaking loudly. Oh mind.. confusion.. nah. i dun wan any of tt. Only wanted to help alittle since i so free. yupz.

yea..getting philosophical.. cos im bored.. cos i sudd see so many lovelorns.. heartbreaks or unreciprocate love? hmm i hope ppl make the right choice cos sometimes we might be blinded by certain factors or juz the surface? Maybe it's infaturation.. maybe it cant laz.. hmmm.. maybe u shld make up ur mind so u wun hurt the other party?

Twinnie.. y do ppl always feel lonely.. n need companionship. tat's y we need frens ard.. y do we need affections,love , care n concern.. n feel lost without them? Hug someone near u.. feel some warmth.. maybe it can make the heart feel less empty? Give u a HUG!

Ms. Aunt AgonY

I realised im really honoured to be someone ppl can confide in, someone tt ppl trust n look for me when they have problems. Maybe is the way im so protective towards my frens, maybe is the way i like to feel being "useful", n provide a shoulder for ppl to cry on. I like the feeling tt ppl need me n i can give them the assurance tt im there when ppl need me. Ya.. is slightly abt the ego too. Plus the fact tt i care for all my frens...

Have been acting the role of aunt agony recently, not like i haven been doing these laz time. hahahz juz so happen tt sudd got a few "cases" on hand. wat can i say..LOVE is a COmplicated thing. N i LOVE cOmPLicAtIoNs... love is the one and only emotion n feeling tt causes the most heart ache. yupz, it disrupt ur world, spins it, toss it,turn it upside down, n u r still the wiling party in the game of love. U allow it to do all the above., Simply becos ur heart tells u the only way to get it right is to experience it first. Love is bittersweet. Cos it will nv be sweet thoroughly. If u nv taste the bitter part of it u wun appreciate the sweetness of it.

GySpY of the PanTrY: "Im probably not gg to fish anymore. Realised it's not a very gd sport anyway. Wat is meant to be will happen when the time have come. Not gg to probe into circle tt im not supposed to. Muz feel contented wif wat one have. "

PMSing... hurr..

Yst was so pissed off.. yupz.. wif my boo boo though not his fault.. hai. i hate army lah.. always laz min den noe when bking out one. Anyway, im PMSing.. so anything tt doesnt seem right will piss me off., yupz. so i stayed at the shop cos boo din call at all. Help them call DHL or draw phone lor. THings tt im always doing. Dun mind doing it though at least got things to do ma. Din want to go shopping cos im broke so cont to stay there. Boo finally called but he's still on the way hm so meet him later while i cont to help out at the shop. Hurr. due to my bad mood. scolded one of the temp.. sorry thomas!! if u happen to read my blog. I really dun mean it. But as all those who knew me so long liao noe i temper very bad de lah. wahhahaz. feel so guilty. tml muz treat him sumthing gd..heez.

Finally got a chance to meet my boo boo aft like 2 wk? poor thing go out field... ke lian chong. lucky got public holiday so he can stay out til tues den bk in. heez. happy happy.. hugz.

Sian... crampz..my rm in a mess.. supposed to clear them up. but feeling very nua.. as usual. wahahhaz. lazy.. gaga..

commission! yippeee!!

Today.. went to work as usual.. supposedly to have training of cable tv (for biz) in the morn but laz min meiyi called to say change timing to aftnoon., So went to shop for normal briefing etc. Heez. thanks to bao ying n yiwen ( PS temp not yd's frn), i got wang jiao's ice milo n egg n bread for breakfast! heez. thanks gals.. tat's y i so full din even eat lunch today. Went for training in the aftnoon.. heez quite slack.. went back PS shop @ 6 plus nearly 7 n helped yiwen to pack the storerm. hmmm basically nuttin much at work today. wahahhz. Maybe except the fact tt i din managed to get to noe wat i want to noe. hmmm. but den i rem kev saying something like tt before..: "wat u dunno, u dun need to noe.. becos aft all is not for u to noe.."..yes i shld juz keep my mouth shut n my ears close. neh.pout.

Aft work finally got a chance to meet B05! yeah. we ate swensons for dinner n finally take commission. woo hoo!!! ate earthquake too. yummy yummy~~ den walk walk abit.. find hong to pass her her commission den we went separate ways for home le. But still happy at least we manage to meet up though only half the class is there as expected. hai. everyone so bz. neh

GyPsY of the PanTrY: " Why do we fish? Becos it gives us some entertainment? becos it give us the chance to tink abt the chances tt we could get a big fish. or maybe to juz pass the time... or to test ur own patience or ur skill.. so wat if we get the fish? a sense of satisfaction..achievement. will u keep the fish? So if the scenerio changed n u din managed to get the fish? Disappointment.. but still hopeful the next time u go on a fishing trip. "

: " Maybe fishing is not a hobby that is suitable for me. hahahhaz. Probably i need to find a new hobby ..."

Life ...Goes On..

Adapting more n more to the life @PS. Yup.. slack. hahahz. crazy. more n more like the REAL me. yupz. me. crazy crazy me. Tot tt part of me was gg to be lost forever when i start working. Luckily it came back.. woo hoo. Happily laufing.. phew. Work is alrite i guess if i dun meet difficult customers or dun screw things up n stuffs. Free. too free. so helped them to call DHL. quite fun..heez. Everyday tok cok wif CPE peeps.. keep wanting me to treat them.. hhahhaz but they entertain me lah when im bored. which happens most of the time.. hahahz. my fav job is still helping them draw phones lah den sign sign sign! im a star! ok lah.. dreaming.

Bored. Finally gotten my bday present fr my jie jie.. wireless broadband!!! finally can serve in my own rm wif bb. yeah. sis upgrade her singnet plan!! can on my lappy 24/7.. hahahz ok lah not really maybe juz at nite. Bored bored bored.. finally changed my blogskin aft so long.. heez., nice one.. abit gloomy though. tink i abit mad recently. dun really like cheery things anymore.. how to describe leh.. like coffee lor.. sweet but abit of bitter aft taste.. yupz tt's wat im gg to express... hmmm.. my mind running overdrive again..

Anyway, thks to denise n keni for the present! nice nice chomel keychain! DEnise n IC jason came over to PS yst. cool.. tok cok for awhile heez. Fri class meeting le! yeah! finally can get the remaining of my commission!! yippee!


Gypsy of the pantry: " my crystal ball is changing colours too fast.. swirling.. i cant see clearly can i? is in the midst of changing shades.. something inside is fluttering.. so fast.. i cant catch it.. maybe i noe wat is it maybe i dun. but fast.. it may be gone.. like a leaf in the wind..blown away, not able to catch it yet u saw it coming...flying away... barely touching ur fingers.. away fr u to the far away."