Things to be done to cheer myself up....

Not feeling very cheery recently..Experiencing Emotional turbulance... decided on a list of things to be done to cheer myself up. Anyone wanna accompany me to do these things?

1. Suntanning- due to depression..my tummy kinda disappeared!
2. Ktv- pls be warned that im gg to tear.. bring tissues pls!!
3. Shopping!! Retail Therapy is da BEZ! Rick korkor already agreed to be exploited by me.
4. EAT! Though i dun really have a gd appetite recently but dun mind gg for a great feast! (sugar daddy do u hear me??? guess u din read my blog anyway. duh.. i want a free meal again!)
5. Hmmm.. dunno le.. when i tink of it den say ba. bleahx

I'll heal..

"Do not run thru life so fast that u forget,
not only where you have been but also where you r going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured.
Each step on the way, think twice n treasure it."

Tell me wat is okay.. wat is not?

Thanks twinnie for ur companionship though u r damn tired but u still make the effort to accompany me.. hugz.. REalised juz now is the 1st time u hug me aft being ur twin for like 1 yr+???? hahhahaz guess i needed tt too. i need all the hugs i could find.heez so tt i feel loved! keke... Well, "Mean Girls" is cool... reminds me of the secondary sch days where wat's impt is to get the attention of the hottie in sch.. bitching of other gals ( well, we still do tt now. hahahahz).. n being popular.. Guess being popular juz isnt the issue now anymore. hahahhaz ppl grow up duh. hahhaz.

Thanks to twin, rick,yingda(u noe why ya,daddy!) and kev for being always being there for me. And once again sorry tt i din keep the promise. I promised to be gd n pick myslf up, and get out of the mess the laz time. Well, it wasnt really messy tis time hahahahhahz but kinda still stuck wif the players. Breaking promises seem to be my hobby recently already. duh. im bad. oh watever. anyway, im juz being melancholy.. as usual..

Stop worrying...if u r hahahz maybe u all noe i'll be ok. hahahz wif so many ppl who pamper me. whahaz. wat is okay? n wat is not? hmmm. juz like some of the previous entries during the messy dec.. "I miss Ning.." but tis time rd, Ning is getting better at controlling her emotions.. holding on to the reins.. dun wanna be considered as a mad woman who go crazy every alternate mth. whahahahz. YES..I'll BE alrite.. i tell myself.. even when im not.. i noe i'll still be...
LOve to lionel, rick, kev, yingda, yanting, lynette. muacks.

i wanna get out of being a mannequin. When am i happy and when am i really not? Tell me Wat is okay and wat is not?

Im your Mannequin...

Manipulate my feelings,
Manipulate me.
Im juz one of your many mannequins
I guess you noe, & it hurts me so...

Be your toy,
When you are bored.
But you care for me not.

Happy memories, oh let it fade,
It's tiring for me to wait.
Becos of u,
I no longer have any faith.

My heart is broken into pieces,
Like the gift you gave.
Brushing aside my tears in waves,
Im numb..Numb playing your mannequin.

I guess you noe, & i hate u so..
Im numb, Numb playing your mannequin..

Another silly creation by me that comes out of the blue. *smilez*..
Ning trying to be poetic! hahhaz.

Im okay!!!

Thanks to all those who are concern... Im okay!! Really!! hahahhz
Enjoying my single status now.. Boo & I are still gd frens so no worries.
We still tok on the phone n chat.
I duno wat's gg to happen in the future but well, im not interested to noe for now.
Juz wanna to be happy n carefree.
*HUGZ* to all those who care ya.. muacks!

Had fun today wif my uni mates..doing HRM grp discussion and subsequently shooting lame and spastic comments abt each other. hahahz. Though its a long boring FRI as usual becos of the evening HRM class.. but we managed to entertain each other. hahahz n also get our work done. Yeah!! keke.

"Life might not be a bed of roses but when u noe you have lotsa ppl caring for u n by ur side.. u would realise life is still pretty beautiful.. u juz gotta be more optimistic. *smilez* Im pampered by u peeps(u noe who u r. hahahz) ! i noe im pampered!!! n i love being the way it is.. hahahz"

Yet another decision.

I let u go..
maybe its meant to be tt way
Happy memories would still stay

Courage i need courage..
To stand up alone.
Still doesnt noe wat i want..
Maybe is another u i dunno

Im so emotionally drained...
Can u all spare me the torture..
I need TLC...
Im so vulnerable...
I need hugs n kisses..
cos i survived on them...

Tears r crystals bits of my heart
Every bit with every memory
I'll learn to forget.. no matter it's whose

My feelings need to take a vacation..
for all these mths...
it has been in turbulance..

I miss da peeps @ the shop.

17th Feb

Finally handed in my HRM assign 1. *phew..* i tink i wrote crappy stuffs but oh well.. i did it. and submitted already. so god bless me ya. keke. At nite was fun, went to PS look for da peeps to go KTV. More n more ppl leaving already. so sad.. Basically it was more like a catching up session wif my darling, nikoko, ah ben, andy.. etc etc. Well, so glad to meet up wif them.

18th Feb
N yup i quit fr tt jap shop liao. im so mean.. hai.. at least im happy for now. Now is trying to see if i get to work for rdshow tis coming wkend. Oh well, so long since i worked wif sugar daddy n chong chong liao. Went out wif boo. Bought my v day prezzie., A pink casio watch. sweet.. keke. Thanks boo!!

i seem like i got things to blog but like nuttin much to type leh.. hmm maybe im juz distracted for now.. * on the phone*

* wed? Mahjong or DBL O??*

Im gg back to rdshow!

Yes yes yes.. so much for finding a new job n trying to independent.. so much for dunwan to "kao guan xi".. n my pride. But i come to realised i really dun fit into my new job.., i feel so terribly depressed n upset.. i juz DUN FIT IN... u get wat i mean? maybe im too used to starhub already. I was telling boo i cant grow out of starhub n kinda love starhub so much already. its like there is a sense of belonging u noe.. i noe i only worked like 2 days in the new shop n my bloody big mouth told everyone i knew tt i found a new job since i was TT EXCITED THEN.. But aft the 2 days n my constant smses to ppl tt i feel so WRONG there. u get the idea.. IM gg to write on my blog n my bloody big mouth gg to tell those who knew IM GG back to RDSHOW team! Gd money, GD In-charge., Culture n environment Im so bloody used to.. Aft tis experience, i really really realised how much starhub meant to me! hahahahhz sounds so mushy. but seriously, starhub is like my comfort zone.. Im Really ME when im working in hub. Making tis decision i felt a sense of *phew* relief! Though boo will definitely say.. u ar.. muz learn to be independent n go out of ur comfort zone. But.. since u not happy den dun work lor. hahahahhz. of cos lah , who would want ning to be unhappy rite? Like wat boo say im so pampered in starhub. as in i noe how things r done n i noe the ppl so i kinda can get away wif little bit of mischief. Yeah!

The prob now is how to tell my new boss tt i dun suit the job. n i heard according to the law, i muz work 3 days den i can get my pay for the days i worked. So sat is my 3rd day. n i shall tell him aft work. oh mine. i feel so bad to the new bosss.. im a evil person...

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all! heez. Let me tok abt laz wkend first ya. Went to my bez pal-val's chalet on sat. Happy Bday gal! Her chalet is damn sweet, relatives and frens, pink cake, colourful balloons.. so traditional n heartwarming.. yupz.. i cant help it but tink... mine would be so much diff.. Tink.. alcohol..like bottles of vodka, tequila wif shots glasses on the table top. Think packets of malboro menthol light too... N the frequent laughter of "kao bei lah", "mai ki siao leh"... hahhhz n crazy games that come out fr my other crazy frens. hahahz. Guess im slightly diff fr val ya. hahahahaz.

Anyway, i've gotten a job at tis japanese accessories store-kokon tozai @citylink. i kinda regret accepting it so fast cos another company i interview for act called me yst.. but since i already agreed to work for kokon tozai i cant be so mean n leave on my 1st day could i? Yst was my 1st day.. i dunno y but i could sense my depression setting in again. Maybe its juz a new environment n i felt so lost. So many products n their codes n pricing to rem.. oh mine. i kinda miss rdshow too. cos the pay here isnt tt fantastic u noe.. but since i agreed hmm cos they called me juz 1 day aft the interview u see. ya.. Rdshow pays so much more n i can be a "princess' there BUT BUT BUT i dun want to lose my pride n dignity to go desperately asking for a job.. Blame it on my ego. I dun want to constantly bug Alex or edmund to put me in cos i desperately need the job. u noe wat i mean.. so i have to settle for something tt gives me a constant income like i'll be working 3 days per wk for now. The 2 new gals n the boss @ kokon tozai r nice lah.. but i cant help feeling " im so new.. n so lost..." kinda feeling.. yes all over again at a new environment..gosh.. depression.. i need to meet ppl up to clear tis grey air ard me! ya ning needs lotsa hugs now.. where is twinnie, rick kor, kev, sugar daddy?? Im getting whiny again.. Miss ya all...bleahx.

Oh well oh well.. is V day n im working later.. meeting more new colleagues.. hopefully they r nice ya.. n hopefully i can finish my assignment tml or latest thurs. Plus hope boo can bk out on tml or thurs to celebrate belated v day wif me....

* happy valentine's day to the someone who's gg army on 10th march. Cant imagine u as botak though. hhahaz. Enjoy as much before gg in ya. *

too many things to do..

09 Feb.

Went job hunting.. hmm went for a few interviews.. hopefully i get one of the jobs ya. im so broke.. arghhh i need the money! ok. nvm.. Doing my HRM assignment.. edit here n edit there.. i keep typing the same stuffs! help me! Gotta ask the lecturer to make sure im on the right track.. oh mine... Gd news is HMT assignment's dateline is being pushed back! yippee!~ keke. But i still duno wat to write for tt assignment..sigh.. And i haven finish making Val's present! Tml nite no nid to slp liao. My bez pal's chalet on Sat so gotta complete the prezzie by then to give it to her. Val's better be so "gan dong" when receiving my pressie. hahahahz.. bleahz..

Mum is getting high blood pressure recently., doc tinks she's too stressed up.. hai. and we shall wait and see how's dad's medical report says 1st. STRESSED!!! Hope mummy noes how to relax herself alittle, is tough i noe. It wasnt like tt laz time, things changed so we muz learn to cope wif it. It's a MUST!

i cant stop eating..arghh growing so fat!

Hhahaz. i ate alot of recently... hahahz okay.. i ALWAYS eat alot.hahahaz late lunch yst wif val, den steamboat @ lydia's church and den bbq @ hong's chalet. chicken wings slurpz.. i have many! hahahhz.. quite fun sat nite. hahahz cosy. keke. i ate til my tummy gg to burst liao lor. hahahz..

Today went visiting wif lydia, vanessa,kaiyin,youde and colin. 1st stop my hse! Subsequently was ness's,youde's and lydia's. tired..becos of all the travelling and nua-ing at each other hse..
Currently tinking of wat to get for val's 21st bday. my bez pal.. probably handmake something for her in addition wif the present we all buying for her. hmmm. gd idea. but i dun really have time to do so. Let's juz see how ya...

I gotta start my assignments tml!!! yes! muz be motivated to do so.. arghhh..And im broke again. duh. :(

LuV*FooL:" Sometimes, some stuffs are really kept for memories sake. Things that happened like a dream but had long past. Memories are all that we had left. So y cant we keep some small little things that helped us refresh some happy memories? Sweet harmless memories....."

I meet alot of ppl today!

hahahz. so happy today cos i meet up wif lotsa ppl! Went to town wif yuling to buy present for ah hong... aft tt went Taka library to try to get references materials for my hrm materials while waiting for Ji Jie aka Leon to rch orhcard. Hmmm. tink i pretty long nv meet him leh.. since i was chatting wif him recently, i juz tot of gg out wif him today. keke. Aft accompanying him to walk ard far east where i saw Val and ah hu they all.. whahahz so qiao rite.. they muz be tinking eh.. y i went out wif him..hahahz.Nv really noe if when we were in zhss, noe him better now when we left sch. Funny tt things happens the way it is. hahahz Next stop, i went to look for my dearest Harry aka lynette! hahahz so happy!! Went PS to look for hubbers again. hahahz guess they really think i very eng sia. hahahz. Had dinner wif my harry while we chatted and gossiped! hahahz no secrets in the world of the hub one lor. heez..if u noe wat i mean. Den of cos i muz go do my rounds of saying "hello"and "happy new yr" to the other folks.. So that's how i spent my FRIDAY!!! n im so glad cos i met alot of ppl today!!! heez. Tml will be another rd of busy activites.. lesson, meet val, lyd's church's lou hei, ah hong's chalet.. woo.. busy busy.. oh man.. n i really need to start on my HRM individual assignment.. oh man..

Happy CNY!

Happy Chinese New yr!!! Gong xi fa cai! Realised i haven blogged for quite sometime le.
Events events... Let's start wif clubbing laz sat 27th, pavilion @far east sq for jess's farewell. AttendeesTheme: back to sch. hahaz sorry i dont have my sch uniforms anymore so i was in club wear instead. ahahhaz Photos can go my friendster see lah hor. Self explanatory. Quite boring, since its a new club. nuttin much lah. Only attraction was that i saw a RAIN lookalike.. wahahhaz damn shuai lor.. hwahhahz. my eye candy for the nite. heez.

Chi new yr was fun!! Boo came over to my grandma's place for dinner on CHu 1. Den aft dinner, the 2 of us plus my sis and her bf went to watch "huo yuan jia-fearless". Chu 2, my relatives fr China came to spore. So my Chu 2 and Chu 3 were spend bringing them ard and entertaining them. Heez, can u believe it. Im an "auntie" already! hahahz My nephew and his family came fr China. He calls me "gu gu" lor when he is only 3 yrs my junior.

As for today.. studying day! i tink im doomed.. can tell me how to do a literature review for my "History for Management Thoughts". Everytime i read the references notes i fell aslp either on my bed or my mind starts to wander off. hai. SAVE ME SAVE ME! And i still have my HRM individual report that i haven started yet too. oh my god.. Muz jia you jia you jia you!!

Muz aft these 2 reports den i can start meeting ppl liao. Unless u pre-bked me liao lah. Like chalets etc. keke. if not pls pre bk me now k.. den aft my assignments sure meet up wif u all de. hahah esp my dearest harry aka lynnette! heez. miss ur greenie tops, big bags and tt 'harry potter glasses'. hahahhaz . Gotta go read my notes already. Bye!