Being the less than perfect

I realised im SO Less than perfect, nv the 100% kind of person. No matter wat i do, im always giving averagely 70%?? Nv 100% or more. SOme say u definitely have a passion, a interest or something u r gd at. Aft some serious thought.. NO!~i can be in hub for ard 2yrs yet there are a million and one thing tt i can make mistakes in. Maybe im juz blur, maybe i nv put in enuf effort to even rem certain stuffs. Seriously, i cant tink of anything tt im particularly gd at.. nope. My "fire" of interest doesnt last more than a few mths basically. I would like to say rather letting ppl say u r a failure or letting ppl noe tt u r not gd.. juz make a nice, graceful exit. Tt is a cowardly behaviour i noe!~ But it covers up the flaws nicely and let them fades away. I always NOE stuffs.. tis n tat, here n there, But nv perfect in them nv gd in them. Nv really bothered abt life. I would like to say i want a normal, (some say boring) stable life. Nuttin fasinating. SOmetimes, i wish n wish n wish IM some super happening person. Maybe some ppl tinks tt im "happening" enuf already. Anything more will make me too wild.. But wat i meant by happening is like doing something great and getting recognised for it. hmmm i cant really tink of an example. hmmm.

Sometimes (or most of the time) im juz the boring person who claims and hopes that she had something more in her life. More happening, more meaningful, more fulfilling.. Sad to say, commitment had nv been my middle name. Cant hold me focus for long. Im juz a shallow shell, not even a pretty one *duh.. * n quite empty in within.

* its juz some thoughts i have. A self-depreciating and self-realising ( i doubt there's such a word.. hmm did i juz created some new word????!~) session for myself. Dun try to console me, its juz some thoughts running thru my mind.


:the less than perfect: